Bush Heralds Freedom in Latvia; Visit Draws Russian Protest

Putin reiterates that Latvians only have freedom because he says they can have it.

Hamas makes strong election showing

Tony Blair admits he "didn't even realize they were running against him."

Two Jackson witnesses claim pop star did not molest them

This trial could go on for a while if Jackson's lawyers intend to present testimony by all the people he hasn't molested.

Gates Inadvertently Lets Out Xbox Secret

And this is the guy who claims that the next version of Windows will have fewer security leaks?

Baseball to Discuss Harsher Drug Penalties

Commissioner to propose 30 lashes with stiff celery stick, instead of limp one.

Pentagon Says Iraq Effort Limits Ability to Fight Other Conflicts

Bond villain Kim Jong Il of North Korea cackles evilly and turns the Bush android control dial up to 11.

Congress May Require Closer Scrutiny to Get a Driver's License

Gun licenses still given out by Texas in party pinata's, however.

World Powers Dominate UN Nuke Conference

Forthcoming headline: NBA championship won by rich, professional basketball team.

UN set to review 1970 nuclear treaty

Evil despots - when will they start obeying the law? Then again, British prime ministers...

Blair warns of 'backdoor win' for opposition

British PM reiterates that the proper way to win is to go straight through the front door with no regard for international law, as he did in Iraq.

A novel way to fight the greenhouse effect...

Bush pledges to combat global warming by making greenhouses illegal.

Eight held after police seize fake Viagra

The suspects only offered limp resistance.

First Lady's Comedy Skill Well-Kept Secret

Her husband's comedy skill... he'll go down in history as the 'joke president'.