Tyson looking for Cinderella ending to rescue something from the ashes

I thought Cinderella ended with her marrying some rich guy. I guess Iron Mike really has changed.

Phonethrower Crowe: 'I was lonely'

He was lonely. Well, you certainly can't blame Russell Crowe for injuring a New York hotel concierge by throwing a phone at his face. When I was single I once charged a nightclub bouncer with an iMac. It didn't get me any dates though.

Jackson Jury Adjourns While Media Drools

I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the IQ-levels of journalists and reporters. What's after drooling? Peeing their pants and throwing food around?

Army Recruiting More High School Dropouts to Meet Goals

Wow - what a brilliant scheme. Underfund education so that there's more money for the military AND more dropouts who are unemployable and who have no choice but to join up. I guess the Democrats just aren't dastardly enough to be handed power any time soon.

Bush: Syria must not interfere in Lebanon

Of course it mustn't. Interfering in Middle-Eastern countries is the US's job.

Jackson suicide trojan virus "moonwalks" on the Internet

Now there's a headline which wouldn't have made much sense 20 years ago. In fact, it probably doesn't make sense to many people on the planet now.

Pilots drunk in cockpit

Sometimes pilots need a little 'help' in order to believe that enormous hunks of metal can actually fly.

Beyond the Headlines is slowly cranking back up again after a vacation. Hope someone is out there reading this...