I've decided to suspend the funny headlines for a couple of days because of the terrorist attack in London and the very depressing headlines it has produced.

Martha Stewart Hates House Arrest

Well, I'm sure the authorities will put her in jail, if she'd prefer it.

Presidents, Picking Justices, Can Have Backfires

Subeditors, writing headlines, can completely mangle English syntax.

Lindsay Lohan Denies Man Took A Dive Off Her Hotel Balcony; Petition Urges Her To Gain Weight

Yes, it seems as though Live 8 has succeeded in making Westerners forget about trivial celebrity matters and concentrate on what's really importa... oh.

Space probe rear-ends speeding comet

And a kid still dies every three seconds from poverty.