Federer tries something new at Masters Cup with a double bagel

This could revolutionize professional sports. I'm hoping to see baseball batters taking swings at donuts, soccer teams kicking watermelons and hockey players shooting chocolate cookies into the goal in the near future.

Pressure rises for Bush to quit Iraq

And if we look at the previous headline I think we'll see that it was the country next door which was developing the WMD's all along. Oh well.

IRAN: BLACK MARKET NETWORK MAY HAVE PROVIDED NUCLEAR INFORMATION

The black market? Really? You mean they didn't just order Nukes for Dummies from Amazon?

Be prepared for iPorn

As they say on Fark: still no cure for cancer.

Mega Bloks wins Lego battle

And the colorful citizens of Middle Earth can live happily in peace, knowing that there is one block to rule them all.

US admits using white phosphorous in Falluja

And Saddam is on trial for what, exactly?

Senate Overwhelmingly Backs Resolution to Ease Out of Iraq

We're about to see the invention of a new verb: to 'difficult' out of Iraq.

United states condemns 'abuse' of 170 Baghdad Prisoners

Well, they are the experts on the subject of Iraqi prisoner 'abuse'.

Baseball unveils three-strike drug policy

Three strikes and they take away the player’s drugs.

British discuss use of phosphorous in Iraq

I say, chaps – that sounds like a spiffing idea! You put the tea on, Basil, while Archibald goes and burns a few Iraqis.

Bush holds up Taiwan as an example of democracy

Holding up a country is a perfect metaphor for Bush's version of democracy.

Schwarzenegger's Celebrity Is a Hot Commodity in China

Maybe he should run for president there. Then he could throw even more peasant farmers off their land than the current government does, and call himself The Farminator.

And now, our exclusive look at Sandra Oh's fridge drawer

Oh. No.