Saturn Moon Gushing Liquid Water

Soon to follow - the biggest plumber's bill in the history of the universe.

Push to Tighten Lobbying Rules Loses Strength

Sounds as though the lobbying lobbyists have been successful.

Number of Americans aged 65 and older to double in 25 years

I blame it on the Viagra.

Dead man spends days unnoticed on highway

If he was wearing a hat, coat and thick-rimmed glasses, and driving a 1974 Lincoln at 28mph, I'm not surprised nobody noticed he was dead.

Canada Beats the US at Its Own Game

...and will shortly be invading Iran with a 'Coalition of the Polite'.

Family walks on all fours

That would be the Bush family, of course.

Nutrition: Study Links Sugary Drinks to Teenagers' Weight

Hey - those experts could be terrorist prosecutors in their spare time (see previous post).

Prosecution Says Moussaoui Trained to Lie

Terrorists trained to lie? That sure is some insightful prosecuting. Those guys should be on Law & Order: Trial By Jury.

Bush asks Congress for 'line-item veto' power

I thought he already had that. In fact, it seems to me that he has 'reality veto' power.

South Dakota bans abortion

Let's just call those lawmakers the American Taliban.

Huge solar storms could zap Earth, scientists warn

When I was a kid I used to incinerate ants by focusing the sun's rays on them through a huge magnifying glass. I'm sorry.

Carol Burnett's daughter immortalized in L.A.

The real trick is becoming immortalized before you die.

Peace activist Cindy Sheehan arrested after UN march

Osama bin Laden? Still free.